FlirtFinder Blog

Why The Hero Gets the Girl and Lois Lane gets her man


Think of superhero, or think of the ancient Greek or Roman Gods.  Now imagine the male lead in a romance novel and the female lead in an action film.  They are pretty much always idealized versions of what we think a perfect women or man should be.   People seem to create and identify with these idealized versions of people.

These idealised version of men and women tend to have abilities and traits that are hyper masculine and the women have more feminine traits abilities and interests.

So how does that help you find love? Well everyone can learn from these idealised versions and incorporate something of this into their profiles.   What is it about you that makes you different, what is it that you are interested, or good at?  What can you do to make yourself look more like one of these archetypes?

If you are male you can certainly emphasize your masculine traits, interests and appearance and if you are female you can emphasize the femininity.

We have analysed what our members find attractive and unattractive based on over 100 million member ratings.  There are a few simple members that are the most successful tend to do that result in more people getting in touch and result in more people finding them attractive.

Let’s start by looking at what successful women do to emphasize their femininity.

1) Angle – almost all of the most attractive women stood slightly side on to the camera rather than facing it. This gave a more feminine outline by making shoulders look less broad and emphasizing waist to hip ratio.   Turn slightly side on and most women’s outline becomes a little more coke bottle, or hourglass. A hip to waist ratio of 0.7 has been shown by studies to be highly correlated with being rated as attractive.

2) Dress – think night out elegant,  feminine cuts, not too much cleavage, as this sends the wrong message. Off the shoulder dresses are attractive without being seen as too much.  The trick here seems to be to combine confidence with a just a little vulnerability in the right ratio.

3) Expression – a slight smile ( think Mona Lisa ), a confused ( have I met you before ).

4) Distance –  Stand further back – a close up selfie doesn’t look best – most cameras and phones have a timer function, or get a friend to take it.

5) Approachable.  If women look too powerful it is intimidating for most men.  Wearing a power suit while sitting in a convertible Mercedes might sounds good to you, but it can be intimidating for a lot of men.


For men do this.

1) Angle – Straight on to the camera, sucking in that tummy – good posture. This maximises the shoulder to waist ratio that makes you look more masculine.

2) Dress – shirts with a collar, jackets that make a V shape to emphasize shape, well cut clothes, a small logo all work well, something that makes you stand out rather than fit in, something bold and unusual.

3) A good catch – make sure you include a few clues that you can and do spend more than the bare minimum on your appearance.  This is not about showing off, this about demonstrating that you have got yourself together, are responsible and have good taste.  Shaved / trimmed facial hair and recently cut hair helps too.

4) Health  – outdoors, well lit, in a nice location works well.

5) Confidence / risk – Try to look confident and purposeful, if there is something that you do that is sporty, a little brave and masculine, then that is a very attractive quality.

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